Broken Heart

A few months ago I started to feel really convicted about sharing my faith. I am a Christian and Christians around me talk about their conversations with nonchristians, what they have learned, what they have shared, how they interact beyond the superficial daily conversations with these nonchristian friends, etc. I realized that not only do I not talk about faith matters with nonchristians, but I don't even know what the people around me believe. Are my friends just decent people with good morals, or are they, like me, people who are aware of their sins and their desperate need for a savior and they find life and mercy in Christ alone? I did not know.

All summer I have been learning more about the people around me, and what I have learned breaks my heart. Many of my friends believe in many different things, but few of them know how loving and merciful Christ is. Few of them want to know.

My heart breaks for my friends.

I am not pretending that I know it all, and I hope it doesn't come across like that. In fact, during the last few months, I have been stripped of many things I thought I knew, my pride has been ground up and hit by some huge mac trucks, and I feel weak and vulnerable. However, the saviour I cling to has not changed, and I prefer to gather my strength from him over myself anyway.

In finding out about other spiritual beliefs, I have had to examine my own, as I think one should do often. I come back to the resurrection each time. 1 Corinthians says something that I have identified with since I began to understand my faith. "If Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith." (1 Corinthians 15:14) and then again Paul says, "And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins." (1 Corinthians 15:17)

But Christ DID rise from the dead, and there is historical proof for this. This is a major subject of many Christian apologetical books, so I will just list a few instead of trying to quote everything.
Josh McDowell, The New Evidence That Demands a Verdict
Lee Strobel, The Case For Christ
Norman Geisler and Frank Turek, I Don't Have Enough Faith To Be An Atheist
Norman Geisler and Ron Brooks, When Skeptics Ask

If you doubt this, ask a Christian about it. Read one of those books, which include chapters specifically written to address common doubts and arguments against Christianity.

I don't really know how to conclude this post because the struggle in my heart continues and my love for my numerous unbelieving friends grows every day. So I will link this back to the reason I started this blog: searching for beauty.

In this quest, I have seen more beauty in these friends than I ever did before I knew their beliefs. That surprised me. I thought if I knew that we had differing beliefs, I might feel more distant from them, but in truth, I feel a much greater love for them, a greater desire to be with them, to love them, to listen to them, to learn from them, to live life with them.

Second, I have also seen more beauty in the resurrection. God knew that many hearts would come to him because of that one act. Without the resurrection, I would not be a Christian, but I have read enough proofs for Christ's death and resurrection, from Christian supporters and resurrection critics alike, to believe firmly in the resurrection.

And so once again, I hate the struggles and heartache I have been feeling, but I cling to them as an opportunity for growth, a chance to watch God act, and a place to hold on to Ephesians 3:20-21...

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."