Saturday, September 1, 2012

Even the Corners

Imagine we are a square candle, and God is fire and light.  The candle wick is lit when we worship him, spend time with him, allow him to come in and affect our lives.  At first, the candle is largely unaffected.



Little by little, the wax around the wick begins to melt.  This changes us, the candle, and it also reveals our imperfections.



If the candle is blown out, the candle returns to its original state.  Perhaps it is a tiny bit affected, a ring around the wick showing where the candle wax once melted, then hardened again.  When we just allow God into one part of our lives, when we just reserve that communication to holidays, or maybe once a month, God's presence affects us, but we limit the impact he can make. 



Even when we spend time with God for two hours on a Sunday morning, the circle of wax may have an influence, but I have seen in my life how the wax in the corners is never affected.  There are corners of my life that are off-limits, hidden (or at least I try to hide them, nothing is hidden from God, but he does not force his way into the areas I try to keep from him).  The wax in the corners remains.



When we keep the candle burning, when we spend time with God regularly, daily, when we worship, when we seek him, when we practice being silent before him, when we practice bringing our burdens to him, the candle continues to be changed.  The imperfections are revealed, but they draw near to God's light, and he eventually melts them away.  Even the hidden corners of my life are touched, are changed, are pulled into God's presence. 



I've been a Sunday worshipper for a long time.  I haven't been so great about including God into my daily life though.  God spoke to my heart a month ago, saying "You MUST be silent before me."  I took that as a command.  When you hear those words, it is not an option.  I spent time trying to quiet my mind before God, getting back into the Bible, praying and studying on how to pray.  But eventually, this time with God did begin to feel like a choice again.  I do have the power to say no.  I do have the power to refuse blessing and take back those corners, shrink the circle of God's influence, and eventually blow the flame out of my life.  I do have the power to say no.  I have said no on a few occasions.  My phone is more interesting.  My sleep is too appealing.  My television schedule is too addicting.  My to-do list is too loud.  I have regretted each one of those "no's".  I have regretted it because in saying "yes" to God, I have been so blessed.  I have been overwhelmed by God himself.  Each day I must make that choice to meet with him.

What have you been choosing?

Generosity

My friends have lived in their condo for about 2 years.  A long while back, their bathroom had undergone the first half of a remodel.  Unfortunately something had happened with the walls, and the drywall needed to be redone. This bathroom issue has been hanging over their heads, as they have not had the money to fix it, and they knew it would be a big project involving new dry wall, taking off the trim and replacing it, getting new fixtures, etc.  So the bathroom, for 2 years, has looked like a construction zone.  One of those nagging stressors looming overhead.  The husband Stephen has now finished his coursework for his doctorate, so they may be moving soon, depending on jobs, increasing the need to finish this bathroom, but still no means to do so.

I picked this family up from the airport last week.  They were visiting grandma and grandpa in Texas.  I asked if I could use their bathroom before I returned home, and when my friend Katherine turned on the light, the bathroom had been completely redone. New drywall, new paint, painted trim, new handle on the toilet, new light switch plate, new lights, new sink, new counter, new cabinets, new toilet paper holders mounted onto the wall, new towel rack also mounted on the wall.  It was beautiful. 

Katherine stood there in the doorway of the bathroom in shock.  She asked me if I knew who did this.  Of course I did not.  She asked her husband, who said he did not know.  They thought about who had keys to their place.  His parents had a key, but that is who they had been visiting in Texas, so it couldn't have been them.  A neighbor a quarter-mile away had a key to come feed the cat, but she had two little girls of her own, and certainly wouldn't have had the time to do this. 

Who would have done this?  The paint they used was the same color as the office was painted, one room over.  The paint had been in the garage.  Who knew about that leftover paint?  Who would have dug around to find it?  How did they get in? Who would have done such a sacrificial thing?

Our current sermon series has been on generosity.  We have talked about God's generosity with us, about how every gift that we have comes from God (James 1:16-18).  We have talked about how our generosity brings God joy (Hebrews 13:15-16).  We have talked about how being generous allows us to "take hold of the life that is life" (1 Timothy 6:18-19).

We have been given challenges.  Make a list of 100 things for which you are thankful this week, practicing awareness of God's generosity with us.  Pray about a way in which you can use your TIME generously, in addition to that which you already do. Pray about a way in which you can use your TALENTS generously, in addition to that which you already do.  Pray about a way in which you can use your TREASURES generously, in addition to that which you already do.  How is God leading you?  Who does he want you to bless this week? 

This bathroom remodel was discovered two and a half days after the sermon about blessing others with your talents.  Is it possible that someone had the guts to say yes to God asking them to do THIS?  Is it possible that someone spent three days, three days at the requirement of dropping everything else, to do this simply to bless another?  Oh, I hope so.  I hope that it was someone from Lakeland.  And I believe that it could have been someone from Lakeland, because that is the kind of thing I have seen people from my church do.

The kicker in all this: my own attitude.  When we began this sermon series, I felt like I was in a good place.  I am fairly generous, and I enjoy sharing what I have.  But as we went on, I felt more and more selfish with my time, talents, and treasure.  Three days earlier, during that sermon about being generous with our talents, I was grudgingly telling God that I did not have the time or desire to do anything else above and beyond what I was already doing, and that should be enough for him. I found a way to cheat, saying that this thing I already had planned would have to count, because I wasn't up for doing anything else this week.  And then I happen to be witness to this beautiful moment of discovering generosity.  The fact that I was there, that was a real blessing for me as well.  Whoever did this remodel knew they were blessing Stephen and Katherine.  They didn't know they would also bless me so much.  I saw Katherine, who spends so much time blessing others, speechless, in tears, wandering around in shock, unable to fathom that someone would do this for them. 

When I tell this story, which I have done multiple times already, this is the point where I just start babbling, overwhelmed by the fact that someone would do this.  I have no good way to end this story on paper.  I see Katherine in tears.  I see my friend blessed.  I see that there is still so much good in this world.  And I see that our generosity DOES bring God joy.  And I want all of this to multiply.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

You Who Never Arrived

You who never arrived
in my arms, Beloved, who were lost
from the start,
I don't even know what songs
would please you. I have given up trying
to recognize you in the surging wave of the next
moment.
-Rainer Maria Rilke, You Who Never Arrived (as translated by Stephen Mitchell) (1913-1914)