Surrender

Prone to wander, Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love; here's my heart, O take and seal it, seal it for Thy courts above.
-Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing, Robert Robinson, John Wyeth, public domain

All to Jesus I surrender, Help me fully count the cost
My own ambitions I abandon, Clinging only to Your cross.
-Stephen Hinkle, Surrender, 2008 hinklemusic

These are two issues I have been struggling with lately. First there is my constantly wandering mind and heart and priorities. Can I just have in mind the things of Christ and make that a habit? No, I can't, and it isn't likely to ever come naturally. Philippians tells us to "Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable," etc. "Keep putting into practice all you have learned and received"... (excerpts from Philippians 4:8-9). It is a conscious choice: FIX your thoughts... KEEP putting into practice...I cannot expect to simply soak in a church service on Sunday morning and be set for the rest of the week. In many ways and in many churches, I think Christians in the US do think this is what happens. I go get my fix on Sundays or maybe more commonly, I go give my one or two hours on Sundays and then I did my penance for the week. I gave God what he requires and now I get to do what I want. That fulfilling-a-requirement attitude isn't really what sits in my mind today, though. Moreso it is the idea of thinking two hours on Sunday of sitting and listening or standing and singing is enough to keep me in Christ throughout the week. I am realizing more and more that I simply cannot train myself to think Biblically or to be more Christlike without spending a lot of time in the word, in prayer, and in worship. Yet throughout the week, that is something I rarely do. I have tons of excuses. Too busy. Too lazy. Too forgetful. Too many people needing me to do too many other things. All these excuses fall short, but Sunday seems to be the only day I can see that.

Then there is the idea of clinging to things that are temporary and worldly. It only seems to be when things get upset that I can see this. For instance, I have been dogsitting and I have sort of moved into this house. It is only temporary, yet I can already feel myself creating habits and starting to feel at home there. On the weekends, when I leave their house and come back to mine, I all of a sudden feel all out-of-whack, like neither house is my home. How do I remember that neither the house I normally live in nor this new and temporary arrangement is my actual home? How can I continue to remember that heaven is my home, so any circumstance here is temporary? Our pastor spoke this morning to this topic. You wouldn't see a set for a play and want to move in. You know that play sets are temporary, that the set strike will occur soon, and this is not a dwelling that people can actually stay in. We know this about plays, but we lose sight of this in the world. Our houses are not forever. The stuff we cling to is not truly ours to keep. Things break, disasters happen, but more importantly, none of this stuff has eternal value. Yet we put so much time and effort into holding onto this stuff, upgrading it, repairing it, keeping it nice, storing it safely, etc. This isn't to say we should get rid of everything or treat it poorly, but we should remember that it is only temporary. I remember a sermon from two years ago by a different pastor on the same topic. He said sometimes he walks around his stuff and tells it, "You are only temporary." Funny to imagine actually doing that, but isn't it true? Yet how do we remember that in the day-to-day life?

I'll end with this: what I have been reading in Revelation has really been hitting home, reminding me again how big God is, how much he hates sin, and that the final days will not be easy, but they will be good and triumphant. God will win, and he will obliterate all sin. The thing is, sin is not an entity in itself, but a deeply ingrained thing in all of us. It will not be easy on us when he tears it out of us, but it will be so good. How can I let him cleanse me of my sin now, how can I get rid of sin in my own life now? By clinging to his grace, by living in his word, by becoming aware of my pride and asking forgiveness. It isn't me who will get rid of any of this sin, but I do stand in God's way so that I can continue to cling to it. Lord, make me less so that you can become greater.