Day Dreamers

All men dream but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes to make it possible.
T.E. Lawrence

Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake.
Henry David Thoreau

Toys

I spent the better part of my day playing with my toys. I don't think I have been able to say that for 20 years. My niece is coming for a visit, so I had the pleasure of choosing age-appropriate toys, washing them, and playing with them as I dried them. I would have LOVED doing that as a kid. My dolls and My Little Ponies are still lined up on the bathroom floor drying. I never realized how many toys I had and how blessed I was as a child!

About 2/3 of the toys that I played with today.

Through the Trials

I have been learning about Joseph lately at my church. Joseph's story, found beginning in Genesis 15 with his great grandfather Abraham and continuing through the end of Genesis, is full of trials, hardships, persecutions. There is much opportunity here. Joseph had the opportunity to become bitter, resentful, angry, hardened, and all around ugly in his imprisonment and slavery. But he didn't.

Background: He was his father's favorite son because his mother was his father's favorite wife. Messed up already? Favoritism, polygamy, not a good start for Joseph, though his father meant well, I'm sure. His brothers are angry enough at him to kill him, but then decide to sell him instead so they can get some money from their brother's ruin. So he's a slave, then he's wrongfully accused of trying to seduce a woman who, in reality, had been trying to seduce him. Prison. Years go by. Not just days, but YEARS. Not only is he in prison, but he's forgotten there, assumed dead by his family, assumed guilty by his slaveowners, he would be reasonable to be hopeless. Randomly the king, Pharoah himself, has a confusing dream and Joseph gets to interpret it. All the credit to God for the interpretation, for the physical freedom that comes because Pharoah makes him second-in-command. 9 years go by in this new position.

And all this time, Joseph had no assurance that God's plan would work for good. No idea if those dreams he had as a child of his brothers bowing down to him would ever happen. No idea if he would ever be reunited with his family so that they would even have the chance to bow down to him. He doesn't seem to care about them bowing down to him. He just wants to see them again. And he has NO ASSURANCE that this will ever happen. But he has faith that God is big and able to save and THAT GOD IS GOOD EVEN IF HE DOESN'T SAVE HIM FROM HIS TRIALS.

Wow.

It is tempting to think that Joseph is some kind of super human. He isn't sinless, but he seems the picture of perfection, right? Yet, he's really just like you and me, a human from a somewhat dysfunctional family living with the effects of childhood feuds and relationships. He's far from home and living in circumstances beyond his control. He has no control over his circumstances, but he recognizes that he does have control over who he places his trust in. And even though by his circumstances it seems like God has failed him time and again, Joseph's faith is in a God who is personal, and who must have been speaking to his heart as Joseph sought him or Joseph long ago would have given up on God. But Joseph stayed open, God kept whispering, and God kept working.

Through the trials, Joseph saw opportunity to serve. He was honored by his slave owner and the prison guard as a man with integrity, and he was rewarded in both circumstances for that. Then again with Pharoah. Through his trials, he kept his eyes on God. What a beautiful opportunity that we all have. We can't see the future, how things are going to work out. We can't see the bigger picture, how things are inter-related and working together for good. But God can, and he can change any evil intent, any evil action for good in the hearts and lives of his people, his creation. God is bigger. Joseph was not. Joseph was like me: just a blind, sinful wanderer.

Helen Rosevere, a white woman, a doctor, in the Congo years ago, in the midst of being beaten, abused, heard God say this to her heart: "Can you thank me for trusting you with this, even if I'd never tell you why?" I pray that I can do that. My history with this is rocky...at best. But what a great cloud of examples we have all around us, both alive now and from the past, to exemplify blind faith in the midst of uncertainty, beautiful trust in a worthy God in the midst of even the ugliest of circumstances.

They actually get along

Today I met a family of people who liked each other. They actually enjoyed being around each other and their words were kind, considerate, and friendly. I worked with two preteen brothers and a cousin, and they were the best of friends. Mom came over, all smiles, glad to meet me, happy to be doing life today, loving her kids.

Oops! Older brother cuts younger brothers fingers by swinging something he shouldn't have been swinging around...Younger brother says that yes, it does hurt, as he laughingly asks me for two bandaids. Angry at brother for making a mistake? Nope. Play continues as before, with one more experience to laugh about.

People really affect me. A crabby person can make me crabby at them for being crabby at me. When someone laments about how long this winter is lasting, I start noticing the cold a little bit more. But those people who are loving life...they speak to my heart. They remind me about the purpose of life. They make me enjoy what I am doing, take notice of how I am doing it, and just appreciate life more. I have a friend that consistently offers me this blessing. Every time I am with her, I walk away blessed. I walk away happier, a little friendlier, with a little more love for others.

This whole family was like that. I wish I could be around them more. As I saw the older two boys interact with the younger siblings and cousins, they were so happy to play together. I don't know if I have ever seen the likes of this family. And they were a blessing to me. They make me appreciate the family I have been given a bit more. They make me appreciate the time I have with family and friends a little bit more. I am so thankful for this family I met today.

Mad World

Mad World, Billy and Ade, So You Think You Can Dance Tour

A sensitive topic: the interaction between a businessman and a homeless man. What do you do? Do you walk on by? Carry on your business while stepping over a person sleeping in a doorway? I've never felt comfortable just walking on by, but I've also not come up with a good way to help. What I decided overseas was that walking by the beggars on the street was NOT what God would want me to do, not what Jesus would have done. So I gave a coin, maybe some food I had with me. While it wasn't a good long term solution, it was still acknowledging their presence, their need.

Controversial. Reading When Helping Hurts, by Corbett and Fikkert, I know that giving handouts isn't as helpful as we would like to think. It is the easy thing to do. Give a dollar, walk on by. Go on with life and feel good about yourself for helping. There must be a better solution.

And so I continue walking by these homeless people not knowing what to do, yet wanting to acknowledge them, care for them, show them Christ's love. I believe they are worthy of being treated like human beings, and I think many of us find it safer, more comfortable, easier to just walk on by, ignoring the situation, ignoring the person making a request. Some of my friends have said very hurtful things about this type of people, this situation. It's their fault. They could do better if they worked harder. Maybe if they just took a shower... I can't argue that my friends are wrong exactly, in these statements. But I CAN argue that this is not the attitude we are called to have. Looking back to yesterday's blog, I can't help but remember that I am in desperate need of grace myself, so how can I look at others with such a hardened heart?

All this to say, I don't have a solution, I don't know what is the best thing to do, nor the right thing to do, but I love the dance on the video because it brings out the beauty of both people and makes me think about a situation that I face in a different light.

Never Been Unloved (Even though I totally don't deserve the love)

Today hasn't been the best day. I woke up crabby, went through my chores still feeling crabby, begrudgingly did the things I needed to do or irresponsibly put them off for another time. One thing I did do was spend a few minutes reading Romans, which reminded me of 1 John 3:1-2. Read the incredible message in these words.

How great is the love the Father has lavished upon us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it does not know him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.

There is so much hope in these words. God's love for us is so great that he would actually call us children, despite all of the horrible things I have done and continue to do. Am I even his child on these crabby days when no one wants to be around me and I wish I could just crawl back in bed and start over again tomorrow? Oh yeah, even on those days. Just like my biological parents wouldn't have given me up on my crabby days as a child, God's love is even bigger than theirs.

And oh, what incredible hope to read that what I will be hasn't yet been made known. I am still a work in progress, I am still living a sinful life here on earth. But the message here is very clear: I am not who I will be when God appears. I will be perfect because he is perfect, not because I have finally attained perfection on my own. The song below seems to fit my needs today perfectly.

Michael W. Smith
Never Been Unloved lyrics

Songwriters: Smith, Michael W; Kirkpatrick, Wayne

I have been unfaithful
I have been unworthy
I have been unrighteous
And I have been unmerciful

I have been unreachable
I have been unteachable
I have been unwilling
And I have been undesirable

And sometimes I have unwise
I've been undone by what I'm unsure of
But because of You
And all that You went through
I know that I have never been unloved

I have been unbroken
I have been unmended
I have been uneasy
And I've been unapproachable

I've been unemotional
I've been unexceptional
I've been undecided
And I have been unqualified

Unaware
I have been unfair
I've been unfit for blessings from above
But even I can see
The sacrifice You made for me
To show that I have never been unloved

It's because of You
And all that You went through
I know that I have never been unloved

For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.
Audrey Hepburn



Read more: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/beautiful.html#ixzz1GAiXpSHJ

Changing

Changing from believing I will fail to imagining that I could succeed.
Changing from imagining I could succeed to watching myself succeed.

Changing from belittling one success to recognizing that each success is a valuable step.
Taking a pile of successes and forming a new mindset about myself, my goals, my life.

Winter Running Revitalized Me

Photo taken from: http://www.womanaroundtown.com/sections/living-around/fighting-the-post-marathon-body-blues

I have always hated winter. I hated being cold. I hated having to wear shoes. I hate that you have to put on 18 things just to go outside. I hated that you can't open your windows. I hated the lack of color. White ground. Gray sky. Black snow. I especially hated being cooped up inside for months at a time.

As a fair-weather runner, I felt like I couldn't force myself to run in the winter. I didn't like slipping on the ice. I thought it was too cold to be outside for extended periods of time. I didn't like it that only half of our sidewalks ever got shoveled, which would mean I was running on iced-over uneven snow, crawling over sheets of ice that had melted and refrozen, dodging cars on the times I retreated to the streets...

This year I decided to train for my first marathon. With a monument birthday coming up, I set the goal of doing my first marathon before that birthday came and went. I had started training for marathons before, only to get too busy or discouraged to continue. This time would be different, I told myself. And oddly, counting back from the date of the next marathon in my area, training start date would be January 1.

I started, and I was uncertain about it yet again. I mean, none of the old winter running problems had gone away, and my schedule hadn't opened up completely. My knees were already hurting before I even started the actual training. Would I be able to do it this time? I had my doubts.

To sum up the last 10 weeks, it has been so good. I began using YakTrax, which are an absolute must for every winter runner. They are like chained rubber bands for your shoes, and they allow me to run on ice without slipping or being afraid. I routed all of my runs on side streets so that I could feel comfortable running on the road and not worry about those unevenly iced sidewalks. My town does have bike paths, but these are not shoveled either, so I stuck to the roads, which allowed me to use googlemaps to know exactly how far I was running, a do-able alternative as I wait for the day I can get one of those amazing GPS Garmin running watches. I use two ear wraps, one over my ears and another around my neck that I can pull up over my cheeks if it gets too cold. And for the absolutely unbearable days, whether the temperatures were below zero or we were having a snowstorm, I retreated to my basement and ran in circles, switching directions every few minutes. (While that wasn't my favorite option, it allowed me to run even without a gym membership and was a great way to test out my new running shoes without taking them into the slush outside.)

It is now March, and I have grown to love winter running. I love that when I warm up, my body still stays cool enough to go for long distances. I love the feeling of the air on my face. On those wonderful days when the sun is out, I love being outside to soak it up. Now my days off are full of restlessness, as I itch to get outside and run again.

I must confess: not every run is good. My long runs are still especially hard, and I wonder if I will be able to do it. But in this winter season, I have learned two things: I can run longer, faster, and farther than I knew I could, and I can actually enjoy winter.

So before the spring blows in, get out there and experience the beauty of winter running. I think you'll like it!

24 Hours of Worship

Today it occurred to me that on Sundays, God is being continually worshipped as the world makes its rotation. From Australia and Asia through Europe and then the United States, some group somewhere is in worship for a span of 24 hours. Maybe more. When one group ends, another group has already begun. What a beautiful thing to imagine the praises being sung by various cultures and in differing languages, with different instruments, dances, clothing, but essentially one voice, the voice of God's children.

Dreaming With a Broken Heart...

What an incredible gift.

Greater Things

Sometimes God wows me in the huge things of this life. I am part of something much greater than I can see, hear, feel...I love that getting this perspective can be so beautifully overwhelming.


Taken from: http://photojournal.jpl.nasa.gov/catalog/PIA13064
"PIA13064: Star Clusters Young and Old, Near and Far"

Microscopic

Sometimes God wows me in the really little things of life. This is something I have never seen before today, and would likely have never seen were it not for my friend, the internet.


Taken from http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/gallery/2010/oct/24/nikon-small-world-competition#/?picture=367971469&index=12

13th place: James Nicholson, NOAA NOS NCCOS Coral Culture and Collaborative Research Facility, Charleston, South Carolina, USA. Orange Fungia (mushroom coral), live specimen, (166x). Fluorescence

Determination

I worked all day on a project for school. My project's overall theme is Determination, and I have been inspired as I have worked. I have encountered stories of trials, obstacles, and seemingly insurmountable odds. Yet these are stories of determination not because the initiator met difficulties and abandoned the effort, but because he or she believed that the cause was worth the fight to overcome the challenges.
Abraham Lincoln.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Cesar Chavez.
Mother Teresa.
Jane Addams.
I have read quotes, researched struggles, and searched my brain to define what characterizes determination. The struggles are ugly, sometimes bloody. Obstacles are overwhelming, sometimes causing despair and much temptation to abandon a cause. The odds are grave. Yet these people overcame, and my life is better because they were willing to fight for equality, service to the poor, equal rights and citizenship, and more. I end today with a few more heroes in my pocket than I began with.


"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved."
~ Helen Keller

Batman Bread and Monster-Cannonballs

"When I lift my shield, you have to freeze and then I kill you, but then I shoot my cannonballs at you and you come back to life and come get us." -4 year old I babysat today.

Just before I left to babysit I made a list of everything floating through my brain that I needed to do today. Chores, upkeep, lots of homework, preparation for the next coming days. None of it is fun, exactly. Or maybe that's my problem. I've lost the joy in just doing the stuff of life.

Not the 3 and 4 year olds I watched today. They examined their toys with fresh and excited eyes. They turned lids into shields. They turned sandwiches into birds and Batman. They danced like little maniacs to the Madagascar soundtrack. Hide and Seek never got old even though the 3 year old hid in the same spot every time.

I don't spend a lot of time with kids right now. I used to, and I will again one day...hopefully soon. What a joy to remember that life can be one discovery after another, that time spent examining things is time well spent, and that monsters can provide hours of entertainment.