Hallelujah! We've been found...so praise to God on high, He has heard our cry.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Saturday, December 10, 2011
The End of One Journey is the Beginning of Another
10 weeks ago I squeezed 70 days onto my 4-week dry-erase calendar. I wanted to have a visual of how much time I had left student teaching. It wasn't that I wasn't enjoying it, or just wanted it to be over, but I needed to have an end in sight, and I needed to keep an understanding that time was short (or long, depending on the day) with the students that I had.
Today I erased the last day on that calendar. Yesterday was my last day. I moved out of the classroom, took all of my lesson plans, coffee mugs, and drawings from the students home with me.
I woke up yesterday with a feeling of thankfulness. Thankful for what God has taught me, done in me, how he has sustained me through this. 16 weeks ago, when this all began, I wasn't so sure I would make it out alive! Now I can finally turn the page and reflect on what I have learned (oh wouldn't my professors be so proud that I am actually choosing to reflect after being forced to write hundreds of reflections the last two years). I am so very thankful for this experience, for my students, for my new teacher friends, for everything, good and bad, that helped shape me into the teacher that I am now, and the teacher I will continue to become.
I also woke up praying about trust. I trust God will be glorified through my life, and that matters more to me than having an easy path, knowing exactly where I will be next semester or year, knowing that I will ever get a job doing what I love...I just want him to be glorified through my life, and that is a cool feeling. I don't often have that trust in the entryway to uncertain times. Here I am, leaving a "job" (however unpaid it may have been, it was still a job), with nothing on the [visible] horizon. But I trust God. He has always been so good to me in my life, even when I was in a place I thought was horrible or never-ending or whatever the circumstance may have been.
This trust and thankfulness was even more surprising to me because on Thursday I had an interview that I thought I blew. The second I walked out the door of the interview, I was overwhelmed with sadness and frustration that I had an opportunity to have a long-term sub position for the spring and I had just shot myself in the foot. I was sad on Thursday, mad at myself, and had little hope about the position, especially having heard how many candidates they had interviewed.
Yesterday, Friday, I was called down to the office to hear about the job. What a fast turnaround- does this mean that they knew without a doubt that I wasn't right for it? Or could I hang on to a thread of hope? With it being my last day, I wasn't as consumed by thoughts about the job as I was about leaving my kids. Whatever happens, happens. I am still trusting God.
Turns out I got the job, so I will have work from February through the end of the year! How wonderful to get paid to do something I love! I'm so excited to continue with this school, to try my hand at kindergarten, to get my feet wet a little bit more. I feel blessed beyond blessed. I get to see my 2nd graders from time to time, I get a whole new class of kindergartners, who I will meet on Tuesday, and I get to stay at a school I love.
Usually when I'm learning about trust the answers don't come so readily!
My last day was Friday. On Monday I go to set up my subbing stuff. Tuesday all day I observe my new class and the teacher I am filling in for. Wednesday I have a final dinner for student teaching. Friday I go back for my 2nd graders "holiday" party. So yesterday wasn't really the end at all, just a wonderful day of celebration, permission to sleep a little bit more, and a great excuse to go out with friends afterward.
Bring on the kindergartners!
Today I erased the last day on that calendar. Yesterday was my last day. I moved out of the classroom, took all of my lesson plans, coffee mugs, and drawings from the students home with me.
I woke up yesterday with a feeling of thankfulness. Thankful for what God has taught me, done in me, how he has sustained me through this. 16 weeks ago, when this all began, I wasn't so sure I would make it out alive! Now I can finally turn the page and reflect on what I have learned (oh wouldn't my professors be so proud that I am actually choosing to reflect after being forced to write hundreds of reflections the last two years). I am so very thankful for this experience, for my students, for my new teacher friends, for everything, good and bad, that helped shape me into the teacher that I am now, and the teacher I will continue to become.
I also woke up praying about trust. I trust God will be glorified through my life, and that matters more to me than having an easy path, knowing exactly where I will be next semester or year, knowing that I will ever get a job doing what I love...I just want him to be glorified through my life, and that is a cool feeling. I don't often have that trust in the entryway to uncertain times. Here I am, leaving a "job" (however unpaid it may have been, it was still a job), with nothing on the [visible] horizon. But I trust God. He has always been so good to me in my life, even when I was in a place I thought was horrible or never-ending or whatever the circumstance may have been.
This trust and thankfulness was even more surprising to me because on Thursday I had an interview that I thought I blew. The second I walked out the door of the interview, I was overwhelmed with sadness and frustration that I had an opportunity to have a long-term sub position for the spring and I had just shot myself in the foot. I was sad on Thursday, mad at myself, and had little hope about the position, especially having heard how many candidates they had interviewed.
Yesterday, Friday, I was called down to the office to hear about the job. What a fast turnaround- does this mean that they knew without a doubt that I wasn't right for it? Or could I hang on to a thread of hope? With it being my last day, I wasn't as consumed by thoughts about the job as I was about leaving my kids. Whatever happens, happens. I am still trusting God.
Turns out I got the job, so I will have work from February through the end of the year! How wonderful to get paid to do something I love! I'm so excited to continue with this school, to try my hand at kindergarten, to get my feet wet a little bit more. I feel blessed beyond blessed. I get to see my 2nd graders from time to time, I get a whole new class of kindergartners, who I will meet on Tuesday, and I get to stay at a school I love.
Usually when I'm learning about trust the answers don't come so readily!
My last day was Friday. On Monday I go to set up my subbing stuff. Tuesday all day I observe my new class and the teacher I am filling in for. Wednesday I have a final dinner for student teaching. Friday I go back for my 2nd graders "holiday" party. So yesterday wasn't really the end at all, just a wonderful day of celebration, permission to sleep a little bit more, and a great excuse to go out with friends afterward.
Bring on the kindergartners!
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