Breakthrough

One of the students in my class was a huge challenge for me the first week of school. At first I could tell she was stubborn and out there, and then she started disappearing in the bathroom for obscene amounts of time, going to the nurse, sneaking out to her locker, hanging out around the water fountain, cuddling up in the book corner...anything to not be at her desk or doing any work. I said more than once that she was beyond me. No amount of yelling, asking nicely, punishing, or any of our other efforts were working. I had no idea how to relate to her or get through to her. Tuesday after Labor Day was her absolute worst day ever...and mine too.

So on Wednesday I took two of my students aside, this girl and a boy who can't sit or stay on task for any substantial amount of time. One at a time, I informed each of them that I would be watching them in the hallway and would choose them as my "Mystery Walker" if they were following the hall rules. I got this trick from a fellow teacher, and they knew that with being my mystery walker comes a small reward.

For the boy who can't stop moving, it sort of worked. We at least began bonding that day.

But for my little disappearing act, it completely changed her. OK, maybe not completely, but I saw a big change in her attitude. So I started praising her for every little thing that she did right. This kid totally turned around. Since then she hasn't disappeared (at least, not that I noticed ;-) ) and she always watches for me to come over and see her latest progress. She only cried once today (oh, did I mention she has been a crier, too?), but right after her tears today she hugged me as she went to her bus.

I feel better about the school day now that we are "friends" and it seems like she does as well. I see her quirks as endearing instead of a point of contention. My feelings toward her have completely changed, all because of one brief conversation that I never meant to mean anything.

I had been frustrated on and off with the way school had been going, but I think that little turning point for my student was a huge turning point for me. I began to remember the lessons I learned from my two favorite teachers, about getting on the students' side and working together instead of trying to force them to act like you want them to. Oh yeah, duh.

I think I learned the bigger lesson here.